She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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