I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
