I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
