if i can run in heels then i can drive
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
