my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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