just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
