I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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