so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
