Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
