why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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