she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
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