Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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