Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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