Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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