i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
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I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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