he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
