The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
