Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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