Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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