sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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