I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
