Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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