i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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