11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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