Is it normal to miss your booty call?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to