Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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