I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
