you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
