Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
