I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
