I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
