nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
