Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
