its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
