put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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