My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
