Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
