i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
