i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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