Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
