That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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