I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
My penis needs a shock collar
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
