yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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