Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
