this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
