No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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