do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
