It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
