i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
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