..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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