I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Randomize
