Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
