Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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