you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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