Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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