Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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