I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
