Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
