Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
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Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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