So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
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