its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
